NFL GeekPicks: Week 13’s Turkeypalooza

First off, to all those in the U.S., Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you can enjoy your day with friends and family, and may you have lots to be thankful for.

And, of course, there’s football. I know I’ll be watching the early game on the iPad in the kitchen, toggling between the TV app and my recipes. I’ll probably miss the bulk of the second game, if only because it’s quite rude to watch football while at the table. As for game three…man, that looks good.

Indeed, this year’s Thanksgiving slate is excellent — nary a turkey among them, so to speak. Gone are the days when Detroit hosted the first game on Turkey Day and allowed teams to steamroll them. Competitive football is a beautiful thing.

Here’s my picks for Thanksgiving and the rest of the week. Remember, if you use these picks to wager money, I can guarantee you will lose money, and I don’t need that pressure. You have been warned! Here we go. (Winners in italics.) 

Chicago at Detroit: The Lannisters shall feast well.

Philadelphia at Dallas: If Dallas loses, Jerry Jones will hit his coach with a turducken.

Seattle at San Francisco: Always a good one between these two, but now with a refreshing whiff of desperation.

Washington at Indianapolis: All…too…easy.

Tennessee at Houston: Thanos has decided to drop “titan” from his nom du guerre due to Tennessee’s ineptitude.

Cleveland at Buffalo: Your upset special of the week. Both teams play erratically week-to-week, and this seems like it could happen. Maybe.

San Diego at Baltimore: The Angry Birds give the Chargers a jolt.

N.Y. Giants at Jacksonville: Finally, a game the Giants should be able to win readily. Should.

Cincinnati at Tampa Bay: Another gimme game, with the drunken Jack Sparrows reeling about a woeful division.

Oakland at St. Louis: Can the Raiders make it two in a row? Um…no.

New Orleans at Pittsburgh: Really starting to feel for the Saints, because I remember when they were good and meant a lot to a suffering city.

Carolina at Minnesota: Odin hath heard the pleas of his people, and hath sent them a beatable opponent.

Arizona at Atlanta: Atlanta’s clock management issues require a TARDIS.

Denver at Kansas City: Chiefs, you lost to Oakland and Tennessee. How do you even look at Manning after that?

Miami at N.Y. Jets: Oh, man. The Jets make Imperial Stormtroopers look like sharpshooters.

Last week’s record: 11-4

Season record: 115-60