This is the week, Giants fans. No, really. I mean it.
I know, it’s hard to believe in Big Blue these days. Major line issues on both sides of the ball, injured running backs left and right, and it seems like the next promotional stunt to fill seats will be “Catch an Eli Manning Interception Day!”
Yet here come the Minnesota Vikings, a team with one more win and 99 more problems. Monday night, the Vikes visit the Meadowlands with major defensive and quarterback issues. This is, as a famous pirate once said, an opportune moment. And a desperate Giants team should have no problem dispatching a Vikings team as underpowered as Thor without Mjolnir.
Of course, I’ve been wrong before. And with that said, on with this week’s picks! (Winners in italics.)
Seattle at Arizona: Just think what Larry Fitzgerald might have accomplished if he’d been paired with a single, good quarterback over his career.
Tampa Bay at Atlanta: The pirates Morgan and Bartholomew are rolling in their watery graves over the simple fact that this team has appropriated one of their sobriquets.
Cincinnati at Detroit: A Lannister always pays hits debts…and wins against inconsistent teams at home.
Buffalo at Miami: A team coming off a week’s rest vs. one playing its injured third-string QB…not a tough pick here.
New England at N.Y. Jets: Did you guys see Brady against the Saints? His numbers aren’t pretty, but he’s willing the Patriots to win. He just needs a better haircut.
Dallas at Philadelphia: Honestly, I’d need to borrow the TARDIS to have any kind of certainty on this pick.
Chicago at Washington: This is far more certain. I still want a TARDIS.
St. Louis at Carolina: Two woefully inconsistent teams. Like the Monty Python skit where two men slap each other with fish.
San Diego at Jacksonville: One day, I will pick the Jaguars to lose and I will be wrong. But it is NOT THIS DAY.
San Francisco at Tennessee: The Warded Man will have a tough time against the Titans, but the run game will bail him out.
Cleveland at Green Bay: A much needed easy win for the Pack…one hopes.
Houston at Kansas City: If this were BBQ, I’d pick Texas over KC. But it’s not, and Houston is officially a Bad Team this year.
Baltimore at Pittsburgh: One gets the sense that the Steelers needed one to get over the hump. They will be dangerous.
Denver at Indianapolis: Peyton Manning is calm on the outside, but he’s burning inside like an Extremis test subject over this game. He wants this one. And he’ll get it.
Minnesota at N.Y. Giants: Use the Force, Eli. Trust your feelings. And try not to throw the ball into triple coverage.
Last week’s record: 10-5
Season record: 61-30