The simple charms of spam comments

Sometimes, spam is super exotic. (Note the sushi presentation.)

There’s a darn good reason I moderate comments here, because if I didn’t there would be several spam comments each week that would slip through, despite WordPress’ (generally quite good) filters.

Honestly, I don’t get why folks bother even creating spam. The vast majority of these comments are so obviously fake that they’re not worth the tiny amounts of electricity used to send them. They’re also attached to posts several weeks/months/years old. Way to stay current.

I guess the goal is for you to click whatever’s hyperlinked and, I don’t know, buy sneakers or get hacked or something. Maybe if you send a million of these out, you’re bound to get one or two people who fall for it. (Don’t be that guy.)

Anyway, a recent review of my spam queue found so much comedic potential, I had to throw a few examples out there. Sometimes they’re so bad, they’re awesome. Note that I’ve stripped out all harmful and/or spam links. You won’t click on anything specious. I’ve also preserved the spelling, because…wow.

But you can never be the best at everything.

A leopard can’t change its spots and all that. There are a couple sides to this
topic, so let’s take a look at this for a minute.

This comment came in on a post welcoming new blog followers after a recent surge in subscriptions. And the correspondent is right. I suppose I could not welcome my blog followers. Especially if they’re leopards. I think this warrants several minutes of looking, in fact. I shall now look for leopards whenever I blog.

This year the Cup would be very close! It comes down to
flip of a coin in my opinion buut excellent luck to both teams!

I might be watchhing the entire match!

This spam came on a piece I did on traditional versus self-publishing, which is how I got all the followers in the first place. Actually, I’d love to see Authors United and Amazon square off in a game of sportsball…except that authors and techies are both rather sedentary. Could be slow going.

Gaugin’s Femme Devant une Fenetre Ouverte,co. In contributing to BBC News you agree to grant us a royalty-free, managers and fans. he built his career with Bragantino in Brazil’s Second Division before hitting the big time with Corinthians. I want to inspire a generation.” The British team, alongside former Steeler Colt King at Rapid City, 8 September against the Nottingham Panthers, This week.

Well, maybe Gaugin is one heck of a goalie, and can help the BBC overcome the Steelers. Or maybe he could join Authors United against F.C. Amazon. But only this week. Next week, Gaugin is taking up figure skating.

Probability of Violating Weather Constraints: 10 percent

Obviously, you’re onto my evil-mastermind scheme of controlling the weather via blog post. Or maybe just close your window. It’s October, after all.

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.| I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting. {Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!| {I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed} as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service. Do {you have|you’ve} any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe. Thanks.|

{Thanks|No thanks|Get out}. I {hate to say|am amused by the fact|am dumbfounded} that you were so {helpful|lazy|drunk|stoned} that you put your entire script on as a comment. It goes on for several hundred more lines, in fact. On the bright side, we get to see how the spam is made. {Yay!|Ew.|*yawn*|*grr*}

Hey! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers?
My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of
hard work due to no backup. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

Yes. Use the spam filters.

Cheap uugǥ boots uk forum Unfortunately two sauces along with a starch component got destroƴed on thee
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get a hometօwn type marking. Find cheap Uggs revіeաs

I already knew Uggs were made of two sauces and a starch component, because Vince Ferraren always smelled like Thanksgiving when he walked into a room. Or perhaps that was just his particular undergarment, which marked him as a denizen of his hometown. (You know, some of these could be great flash fiction prompts.)

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though
you relied on the video to make your point.
You definitely know what youre talking about,
why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to
your weblog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

Dude. Are you berating me? I’m writing my books as fast I can can. (Also, there was no actual video on the post where this showed up.)