Category Archives: Weird

October 1, 2015 · 6:30 pm

The Modern Man, revisited

I swear, I thought this New York Times article was a joke. But no, “27 Ways to Be a Modern Man” was tucked into the Men’s Style section, under Self-Help. Maybe it’s still a joke? I hope it’s a joke. But it might not be. When you can’t tell, you have Comedy Fail right off the bat.

The grande dame of newspapers definitely skews upper-class and self-involved, especially in the lifestyle sections, but joke or not, this was an entirely new level of snot-twaddle. I swear, it’s like they were going for an “Achievement Unlocked” badge in pretentiousness.

So while I’m not usually one to play off the writing of others, the comedy gold here was just too shiny to leave un-mined. The 27 different ways of being a Modern Man are in bold below, with a more realistic take after each one. Continue reading →

1 Comment

Filed under Geek, Weird

October 3, 2014 · 5:30 pm

The simple charms of spam comments

Sometimes, spam is super exotic. (Note the sushi presentation.)

There’s a darn good reason I moderate comments here, because if I didn’t there would be several spam comments each week that would slip through, despite WordPress’ (generally quite good) filters.

Honestly, I don’t get why folks bother even creating spam. The vast majority of these comments are so obviously fake that they’re not worth the tiny amounts of electricity used to send them. They’re also attached to posts several weeks/months/years old. Way to stay current.

I guess the goal is for you to click whatever’s hyperlinked and, I don’t know, buy sneakers or get hacked or something. Maybe if you send a million of these out, you’re bound to get one or two people who fall for it. (Don’t be that guy.)

Anyway, a recent review of my spam queue found so much comedic potential, I had to throw a few examples out there. Sometimes they’re so bad, they’re awesome. Note that I’ve stripped out all harmful and/or spam links. You won’t click on anything specious. I’ve also preserved the spelling, because…wow. Continue reading →

The Skiffy and Fanty takedown of Highlander II, guest-starring me, is live

The podcast of Skiffy and Fanty‘s Torture Cinema, in which I join the crew in reviewing that horrible monstrosity Highlander II: The Quickening, is now live and ready for your download! Plus, there’s video, which means you get to see what I look like late on a Friday night after a long week of work.

Click here for both audio and video enjoyment. Skiffy and Fanty is, of course, available on iTunes or wherever fine podcasts are…downloaded, I suppose. Whatever, you know where to go.

For those interested, I’m enjoying a Foley Brothers Native Brown Ale while podcasting here, because I needed a good beer to wash away the bitter aftertaste of this film. Foley Brothers is a small brewer in Brandon, Vt., and they do great beers. Tough to find outside the Green Mountain State, but if you do, give ’em a try.

You can see my take on Native Brown Ale, and many others, via my Untappd page.

Many thanks to Shaun, Jen and Julia for putting up with my selection of the film, and for being such excellent sports. I had a blast!

#SFWApro

The Daedalus cover: Pulp remix

I am absolutely thrilled with the cover of The Daedalus Incident. Sparth‘s artwork is fantastic, and the layout and typography arranged by Night Shade Books is lovely. Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s perfect.

But then I found the Pulp-O-Mizer, which allows you to create custom covers that hearken back to 1930s pulp magazines. And,well, I had to. I just…had to.

So…behold! The Daedalus Incident: Pulp remix!