Kirk vs. Khan. Luke vs. Vader. Malcolm Reynolds vs. pretty much everybody. Weatherby and Jain vs. Cagliostro. Frodo vs. the One Ring (which is a bit of a stretch, granted).
And now…the Denver Broncos vs. the Kansas City Chiefs. Another epic battle is coming Sunday night, allegedly. But that said, I’m not sure how epic it will be.
The Chiefs’ offense has been very weak sauce the past few games, and Denver’s defense is better, if only by so much. The real battle comes down to the Chiefs’ incredible defense against Peyton Manning, who might as well be a Terminator for his ruthless efficiency this year. Until proven otherwise, you have to give it to Manning. This might actually be a low-scoring game, but I say Denver wins convincingly.
On with the rest of the picks! (Winners in italics.)
Indianapolis at Tennessee: Do the Colts really want to fall to two sub-par teams in a row? Why, it’s like a snub fighter going up against a Death Star… Um, better not mail it in, Colts.
NY Jets at Buffalo: If the playoffs were held today, the Jets would be in it. At the start of the season, I thought they’d need a TARDIS to show up in the playoffs. Who knew?
Baltimore at Chicago: The Bears understand the need for a solid backup QB. You don’t want the hyperdrive failing at a critical juncture. Again.
Cleveland at Cincinnati: If the Bengals show up like they did the last week, the Browncoats could steal this one.
Washington at Philadelphia: OK, Chip Kelly…name Foles the starter. You’re not fooling anyone. And if he isn’t the starter, then you get a stadium full of people screaming for your head. Your call, dude.
Detroit at Pittsburgh: This could be a potential trap game for the Lannisters, as the Steelers are better than their record might suggest. But I say the House of the Lion seizes this particular iron throne.
Atlanta at Tampa Bay: I still think Jack Sparrow would make a better coach for this band of Bucs, but they at least won a game. The reeling Falcons might give them a second.
Arizona at Jacksonville: Much love to the Jags for getting their first win as well. Arizona isn’t an easy out, though.
Oakland at Houston: Another one that could go either way. Both teams are reeling, but they say someone has to win. Unless they tie, of course.
San Diego at Miami: The Chargers are a good team, highly motivated to get into the playoffs. The Dolphins are a mess, on and off the field.
San Francisco at New Orleans: Easy Breesy for the win. It’s like taking on Batman in the freakin’ Bat Cave.
Green Bay at NY Giants: I know…I’m picking both New York teams to win this week. The universe just shuddered on a quantum level.
Minnesota at Seattle: The only way the Vikings win is if Loki decides to intervene. Which, you know, he could. He’s fickle. But he’s busy these days in Asgard.
Kansas City at Denver: I stand by my Terminator analogy. Especially when you think of how the Terminator’s lower body was crushed in a vise that one time. That’s Manning on two injured ankles, for sure.
New England at Carolina: Captain America vs. Black Panther. Cap wins.
Last week’s record: 8-6
Season record: 96-50 (and still doing better than all but two of these guys)