Peyton Manning is a lock for Canton. He has the best football mind ever seen on the field, like he’s got a Lobot on his skull or something. He knows more than some head coaches out there, and could make an excellent coach some day. He’s got a Super Bowl ring and has played at a high level for nearly two decades.
But man, it’s been tough sledding this year. Ten picks, lots of wobbly duck throws. The Denver defense has bailed him out repeatedly. I hate to say it, because he’s one of the best of all time, but I think we’re witnessing the Decline this year.
I say this not to infuriate Denver fans — far from it. Some of the best quarterbacks in the game, including Denver GM John Elway — won their final Super Bowls late in their careers thanks to a dominant defense. And winning one for Peyton may very well be motivation enough to get the Broncos over the hump.
But first they have to get past Green Bay, with another Canton lock in his prime under center….
It’s going to be a great game. Turn off the Netflix and watch. On with this week’s picks. (Winners in italics.)
Miami at New England: The Dolphins have come a very long way in just three weeks. But this is the Patriots we’re talking about here. At home.
Detroit at Kansas City: See, this is the game where you decide to rewatch The Flash season 1 on Netflix.
Tampa Bay at Atlanta: New quarterback, same drunken Jack Sparrow team.
Arizona at Cleveland: I really want the Browncoats to shake up the league and give a long-suffering city some wins. I also want world peace.
San Francisco at St. Louis: The Rams are Faceless Men, searching for an identity. The 49ers found theirs, and unfortunately it’s not great.
N.Y. Giants at New Orleans: This will either be immensely entertaining or a total wash. Kind of like going to a Nicholas Cage film.
Minnesota at Chicago: Lately, the Vikings are bringing Mjolnir down on their opponents. Nice to see.
San Diego at Baltimore: The Ravens, oh man. The Ravens. Talk about a decline and fall.
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh: I’m actually starting to wonder if the Bengals have something here that could get them a postseason win or two. Scary.
Tennessee at Houston: Old Houston team visits the new one. Like Spock Prime in the new Star Trek movies.
N.Y. Jets at Oakland: Maybe could go the other way, but the Jets played the Pats super close. And the Raiders are not the Pats.
Seattle at Dallas: Greg Hardy will berate the beer vendors for not selling Shiner Bock.
Indianapolis at Carolina: Like excellent supervillains, the Colts keep finding new ways to lose.
Last week’s record: 10-4
Season record: 66-39, and gaining ground again on these folks.