This is what I get for boasting about my picking prowess.
One week after posting an 11-2 record in my week 8 picks, I go 6-7 last week. Now, to be fair, I don’t think anybody saw Nick Foles putting up seven touchdowns against Oakland, or Aaron Rodgers getting hurt in his first series Monday night. Or the Browncoats pulling off a heist against Baltimore. But still…I feel shame.
Nonetheless, I am undeterred. Because, really, this is just all in good fun. And besides, you didn’t actually bet real money on my picks, did you? If so, you totally had it coming.
On with the picks, laden with geek references! (Winners are in italics)
Washington at Minnesota: The Vikings quarterbacks all seem to have attended the Imperial Stormtrooper Academy for Aiming.
Seattle at Atlanta: In football, the Prime Directive should be: Take every game seriously. Even against bad teams.
Detroit at Chicago: The Lannisters are back from the bye. Winter is coming, Chicago.
Philadelphia at Green Bay: This is a heresy, I know. But Foles could be for real, and Seneca Wallace might not be, despite the really cool name.
Jacksonville at Tennessee: Until proven otherwise, the Jags are like that fighter pilot in The Avengers who got his plane ripped up by the Hulk. Except every week.
St. Louis at Indianapolis: Andrew Luck’s beard is horrible, yet obviously gives him Samson-like competence.
Oakland at N.Y. Giants: The Giants seem to play their best with their backs against the wall. They could make a run, or at least spoil everyone else’s fun.
Buffalo at Pittsburgh: The Steelers aren’t playing for pride — they’re playing for their jobs. Fear is a powerful motivator.
Cincinnati at Baltimore: When Joe Flacco appeared sans goatee, it should’ve been obvious the Ravens were replaced with Mirror Universe Ravens. It explains a lot about their season.
Carolina at San Francisco: Finally, a good game! No need to re-watch Firefly episodes here. Besides, you’ve already watched them all dozens of times. It’s still not coming back to TV, folks.
Houston at Arizona: Here, though, you can watch Firefly again. Heck, watch old Star Trek: Enterprise episodes. Or interact with real people. Whatever.
Denver at San Diego: Or watch this game instead. I expect Denver to kaiju the entire city, not just the Chargers.
Dallas at New Orleans: The Superdome is like the Saints’ Batcave. Home sweet home, but without the dinosaur and giant penny.
Miami at Tampa Bay: You know, Netflix has many awful sci-fi B-movies that could fill your Monday night better.
Last week’s record: A woeful 6-7
Season record: 88-44…which is still not bad.