Category Archives: Geek

Star Wars wayback machine: Star Wars (or A New Hope if you prefer)

I’ve been reviewing each of the Star Wars movies, starting with the prequels, in anticipation of The Force Awakens on Dec. 17. (I got the first showing nearest my town, naturally.) Everything I’ve seen of the new movie has been positive, and so my cautious optimism is firmly in place.

The original Star Wars, also known as Episode IV: A New Hope if you’re a stickler for such things, is a huge part of why I’m a science fiction and fantasy writer today. I think there are definitely parallels between this film and my first book, The Daedalus Incident, and that’s no accident. Like Lucas, I leaned heavily on Campbell in constructing Daedalus; I often called the book a cross between Master and Commander and Star Wars.

I think the success of the first movie had much to do with Campbell’s hero’s journey. There’s a resonance to those myth-cycles that Campbell correctly identified, and we see ourselves in the characters as they embark on the journey — or in other archetypes of the myth-cycle, depending on where we are in life.

So maybe we’re Luke Skywalker or Princess Leia, central to this story. Maybe we’re Han Solo, the loner sidekick who nonetheless heeds the call. Maybe we’re Obi-Wan, providing wisdom before stepping aside to allow others to build further. Or maybe we’re even Vader himself, drowning in our fear and anger and sorrow until we can find a path to redemption.

These were the thoughts in my head as I watched Star Wars for what seemed like the millionth time. I know this movie by heart. In fact, while in my 20s and firmly in my barfly life-stage, several friends and I recreated the entire movie over pints at the pub. We didn’t miss a line. There are few cultural touchstones so firmly rooted in our global community as this one.

But I’m now looking at it with fresh eyes, and asking myself…is it really any good? Does it stand up to the test of time and the grey clouds of cynicism accumulated with age?  Continue reading

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Star Wars wayback machine: Revenge of the Sith

It’s the final piece of the Star Wars prequel trilogy and — perhaps unsurprisingly — Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is the best of the prequels and, if I may be a touch heretical, on a par with Return of the Jedi. It very much echoes what made the original trilogy special, despite having many of the problems that plagued the other prequels.

A large part of that has to do with payoff — we suffered through The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones just to get to that iconic moment when Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker turns to the Dark Side of the Force and becomes Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. And for the most part, this movie delivers on that.

So let’s start with what Revenge of the Sith got right before we figure out the bits that went wrong.  Continue reading

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Star Wars wayback machine: Attack of the Clones

Back once again with the Star Wars rewatch in preparation for Episode VII: The Force Awakens. We already tackled The Phantom Menace, so now it’s time for Episode II: Attack of the Clones.

My ding against Phantom Menace was that it was largely superfluous; you could’ve handled Anakin’s introductions to Obi-Wan and Padme in about 15 minutes and built a better movie around that. My problem with Attack of the Clones isn’t that it’s meaningless — it advances both the A-plot (Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side) and B-plot (the rise of the Empire).

My problem is that it has plot holes large enough to drive a Star Destroyer through. Seriously, some of this stuff makes zero sense.

Let’s start with the much-maligned love story between Anakin and Padme. Now, I don’t blame either actor here for what we saw, because Lucas loves his stilted exposition and lengthy declarations of emotion. And having been a lovestruck late-teens, early 20-something, I can actually relate to Anakin’s headspace here, to my great surprise. No, my issue is Padme, as in…what the hell are you thinking?  Continue reading

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Star Wars wayback machine: The Phantom Menace

I am very much a Star Wars fan. I saw the very first one in the theater at the tender age of five, and I still remember freaking out as Vader was about to off Kenobi, hands over my face but watching between my fingers. I’ve seen all six films in the theaters, and Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy was awesome. Admittedly, I’ve not kept up with the rest of the EU-now-Legends novels, nor with Clone Wars or Rebels. But I do love my Star Wars.

In fact, I’d venture to say that I wouldn’t be a SF/F writer today if Star Wars hadn’t lit my imagination on fire back in 1977. And yes, I have tickets pre-ordered to see The Force Awakens on Thursday, Dec. 17, at a local theater. It’s on, people. It’s ON.

So to prepare for the return of Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie, I’ve started rewatching all six movies, in episodic order, while I’m huffing and puffing on the elliptical each morning. And I’m going to blog some thoughts about each of them when I’m done. First up, Episode I: The Phantom Menace.   Continue reading

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Fourteen things successful people could not possibly fit in before breakfast

I’m not sure why the World Economic Forum — a gathering of the allegedly brightest minds in academia, politics and business — would even bother to create a seemingly arbitrary and nonsensical listicle like “14 Things Successful People Do Before Breakfast.” With all the problems income inequality, a lack of business ethics and impending environmental collapse could bring to the world, I really could not care less what Successful People are doing before breakfast, unless it directly involves doing something about those aforementioned issues.

But it doesn’t. It’s just…God, it’s not even funny. It’s just a list of boring platitudes. Even The New York Times’ Modern Man thing at least tried to be amusing.

Let’s make it better! The original list is in bold, and the rest is my attempt at humor.  Continue reading

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Happy Halloween!

I see Halloween as the start of my favorite time of year — autumn into winter, encompassing Christmas and wrapping up with Valentine’s Day. Lots to celebrate, generally less sweating while outside. Great food, gifts, Super Bowl…it’s a little of everything, really.

This year, we’re kicking it off without Kate, who’s off to Cancun as part of her travel-writing gig; she’ll be looking at some Day of the Dead activities there. Tough, I know. But the daughter and I will remain strong, go about our trick-or-treating, and then host the usual assortment of friends and neighbors afterward, with chili and beer and an outdoor screening of Ghostbusters. (Note: The children will not be partaking in the beer.)

And there will be pumpkins, including my contributions to this year’s decor:

I thought the calavera (Mexican-style skull, in honor of Kate’s trip) turned out well, but the light really doesn’t shine through in some of the detail. Spidey was an impulse, but turned out surprisingly well.

I’m starting to develop an oeuvre of pumpkins, apparently, given these from last year.

It’s funny, because the Death Star ended up as my greatest social media victory after the official Star Wars Twitter account retweeted it, though one commenter noted that it looked a bit like a cat’s rectum and, well…I couldn’t un-see it and felt less victorious after that. But still, while I’m hardly adept at most visual arts, I seem to have a knack for gourds.

Anyway, be safe and enjoy the spookiness.

#SFWApro

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Star Wars vs. culture wars: Not even a contest

The trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens debuted last night during Monday Night Football, and yes, I watched it – twice, in fact, thanks to the magic of DVR. It was awesome.

I doubt I’d be a science-fiction/fantasy writer if it weren’t for Star Wars. I didn’t keep up with all the books and TV shows and such, but I remain an unapologetic fanboy. And yes, I have tickets to the first showing on Dec. 17, thank you very much. I can’t wait to see this movie. In fact, here’s the trailer, because it’s awesome and you need to see it again.

Some folks, though, have some issues. There’s been a call to boycott the new movie because of…well, apparently it has something to do with the fact that the protagonists are a woman and a black man? Something about encroaching social justice or Hollywood liberal agendas or squeezing out white people or…take your pick. Apparently, somebody ruined Star Wars for them by how it’s been cast.

Really? Really? You gotta be kidding me.  Continue reading

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The Modern Man, revisited

I swear, I thought this New York Times article was a joke. But no, “27 Ways to Be a Modern Man” was tucked into the Men’s Style section, under Self-Help. Maybe it’s still a joke? I hope it’s a joke. But it might not be. When you can’t tell, you have Comedy Fail right off the bat.

The grande dame of newspapers definitely skews upper-class and self-involved, especially in the lifestyle sections, but joke or not, this was an entirely new level of snot-twaddle. I swear, it’s like they were going for an “Achievement Unlocked” badge in pretentiousness.

So while I’m not usually one to play off the writing of others, the comedy gold here was just too shiny to leave un-mined. The 27 different ways of being a Modern Man are in bold below, with a more realistic take after each one.  Continue reading

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Tom Mison is a great guy, plus here’s my DragonCon schedule today

With some time to kill yesterday, I took a stroll through DragonCon‘s walk of fame, where celebrities have autograph and photo tables so the fans can meet them, gush awkwardly, etc. While there, I texted my wife Kate to say, “I’m standing 10 feet away from Tom Mison.”

Tom Mison plays Ichabod Crane on the FOX show Sleepy Hollow. Both Kate and I love how the show is unapologetically over-the-top and fun, and I knew that she also had a little thing for Mr. Mison. I mean, heck, objectively he’s a handsome fellow and has that British-actor accent that has been proven to cause swooning in certain folks.

She quickly texted back to say I needed to get his autograph for her. This text was followed by: “And tell him your wife finds him hot.” “And that your wife’s name is Katrina.” “And that he put up with too much in that TV marriage :)” (For those who don’t follow the show, Katrina was the name of Crane’s wife, a good witch who later went bad.)

I normally don’t do the fanboy thing, but for Kate, I got in line. It took about 20 minutes to get to the front of the table, where I picked out a suitably smoldering head-shot for Tom to sign. Then it was my turn. We shook hands, chatted briefly about the show, then he asked to whom he should autograph the picture.

Saving myself the awkwardness of repeating all of Kate’s texts, I simply handed him my phone with a screen shot of the relevant information above. The dude starts smiling and laughing, calls one of his handlers over to read it, and I swear he may have blushed slightly. Then he looks up at me with this grin on his face and says. “Oh, that’s lovely! Do you think we can call her?”

Why yes, Tom. Yes we can.

After waiting what seemed like forever for her to pick up — with me standing there thinking Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! — Kate answers and Tom says, “Katrina…I’ve commandeered your husband’s phone.”

They chatted for a few minutes, and Tom even mentioned what a wonderful husband I was while giving me a thumbs-up and nodding in that universal guy way that says, “I got your back.” And after the call, he signed the photo and I thanked him profusely for all the relationship points I just earned. I would’ve given him a copy of The Daedalus Incident, but they were all gone, so I had to settle for giving him a bookmark.

I’ve interacted with some famous folk through the years as an author and journalist, and Tom Mison is one of the most genuine I’ve seen. He didn’t need to call. He didn’t even need to read the texts on my phone. But he did, and in doing so, earned two fans that will follow his career well beyond Sleepy Hollow. He’s a stand-up guy.

Plus, the whole thing was a great lesson in how to interact with fans. Fans are awesome — I’m lucky enough to say that my books have a few. And this is exactly how I hope I treat my own fans: with grace, kindness and gratitude.

(segue) And speaking of fans, it’s still DragonCon, and I have stuff going on! (/segue)

  • 2-4 p.m., Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America booth, Exhibit level, Hyatt. Sadly, I’m out of books — and in fact, I’m running out of bookmarks. But I’m still there, and happy to chat about my work, SFWA or anything, really. Plus, you can buy the SFWA 50th anniversary cookbook. Naturally, I have a beer essay in there.
  • 7 p.m., World Building: The Multicultural Universe panel, Westin, Augusta 3. A panel on the Alternate History track talking about the wide world of history beyond our own and England’s.

I hope to see you there. I’ll even be happy to call your spouse, but only on request, because otherwise…awkward.

#SFWApro

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Taking on Krull with the Skiffy and Fanty crew 

I’m on vacation this week, but due to the marvels of technology, I’m on the latest Skiffy and Fanty podcast, where we give Krull the Torture Cinema treatment. 

I admit, this film was my choice, as I had very vague but positive memories of this 1983 “classic.” How has it held up 32 years later? Check out the podcast to find out. 

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