Category Archives: Football

Well….that was interesting.

Last Sunday was the first time in quite a while where I was able to sit down, crack open a fine craft beer, grab some nachos and actually watch football, as opposed to reading recaps on ESPN the next day on the bus.

And I watched a lot of conventional wisdom explode a la Death Star.

Seriously, who thought Denver would collapse at St. Louis, of all places? A few folks thought the Chiefs would trounce Seattle, but I wasn’t among them, and my faith in a Seahawk return to the playoffs is waning. What happened to the Saints this season? Sheesh. And we all know Washington is bad, but really, we didn’t know it was get-trounced-by-the-Bucs bad.

Meanwhile, the Arizona Cardinals are sitting pretty with the league’s best record, and the Patriots, written off weeks ago, are on a rampage. So…well, all right then. I was wrong. I only take solace in the fact that others were just as wrong.

So with my utter wrong-ness in mind, here are this week’s picks. (Winner in italics.)  Continue reading →

On the heels of back-to-back six touchdown performances by Ben Rothelisberger, the Pittsburgh Steelers fell to the 1-8 New York Jets.

The Cleveland Browns are in sole possession of first place in the AFC North — in November.

Obviously, Loki is charging up his Glow Stick of Destiny because, frankly, if these aren’t signs of impending Ragnarok, I don’t know what would be.

Know what, though? It’s awesome. I love that the Browncoats are 6-3 and playing meaningful games this late in the season, especially with the hometown boy at QB and the high-priced glamour boy riding the pine. Life’s good.

So what’s in store this week? No idea. On with the picks! (Winners in italics.)  Continue reading →

I won’t be catching too many of this week’s games, as I’ll be heading back from the World Fantasy Convention on Sunday. Too bad, though, because there’s a number of excellent matchups that should get you to postpone your Doctor Who Netflix binge until next week.

The Browncoats are relevant! They’re heading to Cincinnati with the division still in their sights. Happy Unification Day, Cleveland. Be shiny. In other news, the Niners try to turn it around Under the Dome, while Philly starts Mark Sanchez against a woeful yet hungry Carolina team. And what’s up with Arizona? Wild Cards, indeed.

As always, use these picks for alleged entertainment, not for wagering. Winners in italics. Here we go:  Continue reading →

It’s the unofficial half-way mark in the NFL season — unofficial because, really, it’s a 17-week season. What are we supposed to do analyze everything through the third quarter of the 1 p.m. games on Sunday? Of course not.

Anyway, raise your hand if you thought Dallas would lead the NFC East. *crickets* Thought so. In fact, if you had any doubt as to my prognostication abilities, just look at my Week 1 picks, where I attempt to predict all the playoff contenders. Let’s review!

Right now, Denver and New England look like locks, along with Indy because of the division in which they play. The AFC North looks like a dogfight, but my original call regarding Pittsburgh is still possible. I still feel good about San Diego in a wild card spot, but the other is up for grabs between Baltimore, Cincy and Buffalo. Heck, throw in KC, Houston and Cleveland while you’re at it.

As for the NFC, I said Philly and Green Bay would win their respective divisions — again, still a good shot — but New Orleans looks anemic and Seattle is tripping over themselves. Those two still might win the division, but they have work to do. As for wild cards, I don’t think anybody is putting Chicago in a wild card slot now, and San Francisco has a tough road ahead.

Mid-season adjustments? Dallas is in, either with the division title or as a wild card, with Philly on the other end of that either-or. I think Detroit and someone from the NFC West duke it out for the other wild card slot, and I can’t see Arizona not getting in somehow, either as division leader or wild card. I think Seattle gets in as well, but they still have to right the ship. I still see New Orleans winning the division, but only because someone has to. I think the other AFC wild card will still go to Baltimore but, frankly, that’s a very low-confidence pick.

Anyway, good luck with doing anything meaningful with that, because I’m probably wrong. Now, on to this week’s picks! (Winners in italics.)  Continue reading →

Seattle — what’s up? Not in terms of a “hey, how are you?” but more like “What the hell happened with you losing to the Rams?”

Those wacky trick plays were spot on and perfect, as if the Eleventh Doctor popped by in the TARDIS and whispered into Jeff Fisher’s ear. “Fake them out on the return. Give it to the other fellow. And remember, bow ties are cool. So are mustaches. Yours is lovely.”

So with the Seahawks now at 3-3 and sans Percy Harvin, we get to see what they’re really made of. They’ve cruised over the past two seasons, after all. They’re the defending Super Bowl champs. Are they like the scrappy crews of the Milano or Serenity? Or are they going to fold like the Chitauri at the end of Avengers?

Onward to the picks, to be used solely for entertainment and non-wagering purposes. Winners are in italics. Let’s go:  Continue reading →

A point of pride: Who picked Cleveland to beat Pittsburgh last week? Yeah, that was me. Of course, I also thought the Giants could take Philly, and they got completely shut out. Some times you hit the Ewok with a rock, sometimes the Ewok hits you.

No, I don’t hit Ewoks. Who does that? Sheesh.

Jerry Jones, he of the MiB mirrorshades and Star Trek: Insurrection visage, is feeling pretty good about his Cowboys right now, and rightfully so. I’m going to find it hard to pick against America’s (alleged) Team going forward. On the flip side, at least the Jags and Raiders are predictably as bad as Roger Moore-era Bond.

Anyway, last week was road team awesomeness. This week, I think the home teams have the edge. As always, my picks are for entertainment only and you shouldn’t bet on them. All right? All right. Winners in italics. Here we go:  Continue reading →

Home field advantage? It only works if you’re, you know, good at football. Or if you have a total cupcake team coming to town. Otherwise, while the home crowd can give you an edge, it can’t completely paper over your failings.

But, you say, the Ewoks had home field over the Empire in Return of the Jedi and did well, right? True, but line up 11 Ewoks against even the lowly Raiders and no hackneyed Lucas script could create a favorable outcome.

So this week I’m going against conventional wisdom: I’m picking the visitors in nine of the 15 games this weekend. At times, it’s the visitors who are far too dominant to be swayed by a bit of crowd noise, while in other cases, the home team is just not that good.

Anyway, here are your picks. Winners in italics. And remember, despite my record last week, this is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t wager on this stuff, man.  Continue reading →

Well, heck, the NFL is just getting weird.

The Patriots lost to the Chiefs last week, while Tampa Bay pulled out an improbable victory over the Steelers thanks to some last-minute heroics reminiscent of Luke Skywalker at the Death Star. San Francisco remembered how to play football, too; perhaps they got a download from the Matrix.

Anyway, that doesn’t leave my pick record in great shape, but that’s fine — this is for my amusement, and hopefully yours, nothing more.

Onward to glory! And remember, I’m not good at this, so don’t base wagers on my picks. That way lies madness.  Continue reading →

How’s this for a stat? There are currently five playoff teams from last year sitting at 1-2: Green Bay, Indianapolis, Kansas City, New Orleans and San Francisco. Which ones do you worry about the most?

Indy’s kept things close. I think they’re just starting to jell and should be dangerous going forward. New Orleans started off with two away games, which is never their forte. However, they do need to win a few away if they hope to show up again this year, so I’d say I’m mildly worried there. I think both teams will be playing meaningful games in December.

As for the Chiefs, well, they were the beneficiaries of a soft schedule last year, and better teams are now exposing their flaws. I didn’t have them in the mix for the playoffs anyway, so nothing surprising there.

That leaves us with Green Bay and San Francisco. The Packers must deal with the resurgent Bears, starting this week at Soldier Field, and figure out what the heck’s going on with their game. Meanwhile, San Francisco has both Seattle and Arizona to contend with, and they’re doing a very poor job of it.

So if I’m a Niners or Pack fan, I’m pretty darn concerned. Thankfully, there’s still 13 games to go, but it’s never too early for fans to lament their teams, amirite?

Picks below. Remember, don’t actually use these to place bets. You will lose.  Continue reading →

If you’ve had any doubt that perhaps my NFL picks shouldn’t be used for anything other than mild entertainment — and certainly not for laying wagers — my record over 32 games should firm things up. I’m at .500, which means a monkey with a dartboard could do just as well, though hopefully with less panache.

But seriously, the Bills lead the AFC East? The Texans are undefeated? The Browns beat the Saints? What. The. Hell.

On the bright side, I do feel like I’m getting a handle on this season so far. The Chargers are good. Carolina is better than expected; Kansas City is far worse. Oakland…well, sorry. Still, I think it takes about 4-5 games for a team to figure things out, which means I’ll probably have more 8-8 weeks.

Anyway, here we go:  Continue reading →